Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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