Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
