your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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