That's intense
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
