nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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