I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
