I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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