thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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