Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
