She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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