Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
