ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize