No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
