My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Pants are for mortals
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize