whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
