yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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