he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
