grandma shit on top of the toilet
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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