Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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