just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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