I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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