dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
