Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
