RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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