so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
