We need to start having sex underwater more often.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
