Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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