Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
