i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
