And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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