everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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