Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
