so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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