Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My ass is underappreciated
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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