That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
