god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
