FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am one with the molecules
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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