I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
