he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
