hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
try to milk me bitch
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