I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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