I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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