This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
