She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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