playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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