I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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