and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
