Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
