You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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