normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
