suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
