Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize