can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
