i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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