Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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