I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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