You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
