I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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