New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Shame - the story of my life.
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