There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
