she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
