im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
