What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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